“likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”
1 Timothy 2:9-10 ESV
First things first. When we’re talking about modesty in dress, sex, lust, and all that wonderful stuff, it’s best if we simplify things.
What occupies a woman’s mind more, the attention of her husband or men in general? What does she value the most? When she’s dressing in the morning and looking upon her reflection what’s she thinking? Is she vain? Insecure? Is she seeing that image staring back and thinking about the Lord and His will for her, His love for her in Christ, or something else? So, no, this isn’t an article about legal demands. It’s one about the heart.
And while we’re at it, we ask what the man is thinking too. Does he yearn for a godly woman? Has his mind been trained to think in biblical categories, according to the principles of the Word so that he sees a woman as His daughter, to be cherished and adored in honor of Him? Does a man rejoice in the wife of his youth, praising the Lord as he loves her and regards her beauty? Is he truly hers in the Lord? Does he ask for her body but withhold his heart? Does he pray with her and for her?
You see, all this is the foundation of a woman’s choice of clothing. Fashions change but the principle of modesty is connected to the realities of biblical love and living. So, if you’re waiting for me to say yes to this and/or no to that, you’ll be disappointed. This is a matter of the heart. What we wear, like what we do and say, is a reflection of deeper things. So, if we were to say no to yoga pants and a sports bra, what would we do about pride and religious smugness? What about that? Only sound doctrine can save our sinful hearts because sin is so bad, and the Devil so deceitful, that we’re powerless to save ourselves. That’s what we mean when we say this is a matter of the heart. It’s the heart for Christ we want and then that heart can choose what to wear…or not.
That said, one of the Lord’s daughters shouldn’t be dressed immodestly because it demeans her and exposes more than her flesh. In truth, it reveals a deep spiritual chasm. A woman or girl who knows intimately the love of Christ, and has tasted the cool, fresh waters of grace, won’t seek to bathe in the filth of lust. The stains of insecurity aren’t washed by sin’s diseased pools. The living water of Christ washes away all the stains of sin and all women should be bathed in it, then dressed in the flowing white robes of grace. Modesty is the result of the girl or woman coming to Christ and knowing all that precious security in Him. Then, indeed, she’s radiant!
This isn’t going to make me quite popular with the cool kids. But you’ll notice amidst their predictable caterwauling (calling me a sexist and/or legalist and all that) that they never get around to explaining how licentiousness breeds happiness. The reality is that sexual debauchery has made our culture ugly and miserable. The biblical call for women leads to peace with God, true and resplendent beauty, and non-contradictory joy.
The biblical categories for men and women, most loathed today by the carnal crowd of wokesters, are the only things that deliver what we truly need and desire.
Christian men are called to be disciplined in their sexual lives, the husband of one wife and faithful in all things. Indeed, men are called to love their wives like Christ loves the church…literally giving our lives to our betrothed in the pursuit of holiness. To love our wives like Christ loves the church is also to say that men are to be Christ-like in character. Find me a single line of Scripture that extols the virtue of a lazy man, a lustful fellow, a wimp, a coward, or a brute and a bully. Christian men are called to be strong, courageous and full of truth in love. And this can’t be done with consistency unless a man is full of the Spirit of truth, dedicated to prayer, His Word and true fellowship. A man won’t stand without these basics anymore than a boxer can prevail with his hands down all the time. Life in a fallen world is brutal; it’s hand-to-hand combat with the world, the flesh and the Devil. A Christian man, a real man, is a man of the obedience of faith. Sound doctrine bubbles up in his every action and he yearns to be in the company of the saints.
He’s also a man of discipline. A worker in Christ, one who is recognized by one and all as a man to be trusted (1 Timothy 3:7). He’s humble and his life is marked more and more by obedience and the progress of character in his home, social, and professional life. Vanity, lust, and short-sightedness are not marks of a Christian man.
So, we bring this up because the daughters of the Lord must not dress to be objects of vanity, lust, and short-sightedness either. The problem of lust for men is obvious but a woman must not desire to be the object of that lust either. To dress, therefore, in a manner that evokes lust from men is in violation of God’s commandment – and that commandment is beautiful. The law of the Lord is perfect (Psalm 19:7) and is the way to truth and the good life. Here’s the thing: the advancement of lust and desire in our culture hasn’t done what it promises (John 8:44). In fact, it has surely done the opposite. Lust is marketed as love and the result is emptiness, broken hearts, and despair. What we truly desire is to be loved! We have a deep yearning, all of us, to be secure and to be accepted…by God. Because of sin, the only way to do that is through Christ. Sexual sin destroys intimacy. It turns everyone into nothing more than beasts with IPhones.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman’s body. In fact, insofar as men are concerned, there’s quite a bit right with it. And this is God’s design. But this adoration mustn’t be misdirected. Sex is like a fire. Cuddling with your sweetheart in front of the fireplace is romantic; sitting on the curb watching your house burn down is tragic. Lust is the fire of sex let loose from the fireplace. It won’t be contained. It will burn through our homes and hearts. We’re seeing that now.
A man is told to love his wife…sexually. The Bible isn’t shy. A man is told to literally desire his wife’s breasts and body. Yep. Totally not making that up. See Proverbs 5:19. Jeez…see the entire book of the Song of Solomon for that matter. God created sex. Surely, He did.
But He also tells us when to have it (in marriage), and with whom it’s to be enjoyed (only your spouse). That’s the fireplace.
Keep the embers in the fireplace, Christian.
To that end, a woman, thinking Biblically, understands that though she’s free to show the world her wonderful backside in yoga pants that leave nothing to the imagination, such isn’t wise. No, we aren’t talking about laws and regulations against women wearing whatever they want to wear.
That’s Islam, in case you’re wondering.
We’re Christians and we appeal to each other in the faith (1 Corinthians 10:23-24). Christianity is the way of freedom, not a million regulations; Christ will rule by love and truth in this age, not by force. So, to be clear, we appeal to women to be conformed to the Word of God, from the heart. And it’s the heart of this that we’re after and not, repeat not, a sterile outward and joyless conformity. The law of the Lord is perfect and beautiful and life giving, not drudgery.
The point is that God’s commandment for modesty in dress is good for a woman because she shares herself intimately and completely only with her husband. In that way she is completely and comprehensively loved – personally, spiritually and, yes, sexually – by the man the Lord has given her. This is the idea behind modesty.
You see, lust makes losers of us all. No one wins. Sexual sin obliterates the very thing it promises, which is true joy and peace. We’re called to be so much more than dogs in heat. And what greater lie is there today than a beautiful daughter of God dressing without modesty and being told that it’s freedom? Sexual sin brings a terrible slavery. All sin brings slavery but sexual sin shatters the warmth and beauty of the inexhaustible and immense love between a husband and wife. God has poured His love into our hearts so that we would know Him, come to Him, learn all about Him, gaze upon His infinite beauty, and, yes, be blessed (happy). This is the Way. But there’s that other way that seems right to us and its end is mistrust, aloneness within a marriage torn by sin, and despair.
Ah, so we live in a world where lack of self-control is extolled but modesty is ridiculed. Sin is called freedom and character is declared to be slavery. But the Spirit of Truth says, “They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved (2 Peter 2:19).”
Don’t be deceived. Test everything in your own heart over against Scripture and pray that the Lord opens your mind to perceive wonderful things from His law. No, we aren’t calling for rules and regulations to stamp out every little thing. That’s not the way of freedom. We’re calling for Christian men and women to come to Him who loves us and learn from Him humbly. We call on Christian women to understand the great and true blessing of biblical femininity, which comes from Godly character, not immodest dress. And we call on men to be true men of Christ, full of grace and self-control…full of the power that comes from the manliness of virtue and yet washing the feet of his bride.
Let’s enforce this discipline upon ourselves in the name of the Lord, from a pure heart that seeks to please God, not man – and that seeks to glorify Him, not ourselves. Seriously…not to be crude, but it must be said. Should a woman be eager to hear, “what a Godly woman” or “what a great butt?” That’s the whole point and this is why in Christ we don’t ask for law because it’s the motive of the heart that’s the issue.
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