“The servant of the Lord must not participate in quarrels, but must be kind to everyone [even-tempered, preserving peace, and he must be], skilled in teaching, patient and tolerant when wronged. He must correct those who are in opposition with courtesy and gentleness in the hope that God may grant that they will repent and be led to the knowledge of the truth [accurately understanding and welcoming it], and that they may come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”
2 Timothy 2:24-26 AMP
Though this passage better refers to those outside the faith in today’s study we address what we might refer to as intramural debates. That is, a debate with another professing Christian.
One of the incredible strengths of Christianity is its diversity in the body of Christ. Likewise, one of the sad weaknesses is the lack of unity. We should, truth be told, be diverse in talents and personality, yet united in sound doctrine. We should never criticize another believer for a personality quirk, or for not having a specific gift any more than the hand should level charges against the foot. We’re all one body serving the Lord and one another in love.
What is cause for challenge, though, is unsound doctrine. A Christian man/woman is commanded to study the precepts of the word/law so that they can “cut it straight” – which is to say, apply its principles to the particulars of life. Sound doctrine is the intellectual highway system that leads a believer to the cross of Christ and back out again, filling the earth. No philosophical highway is valid if not connected to Calvary and the work of Jesus Christ. All doctrinal errors are theological/philosophical dead-end roads that isolate a part of revelation or life from the others. Since God is one, no fact in life, no doctrine, practice, action, or anything else, can exist in a vacuum. All facts of reality get their “factness” from the Lord (Romans 11:33-36).
Okay, that said, what does a Christian do when they hear another professing believer say something that runs off the main highway? How do we respond?
First, we remember our salvation in Christ is by grace, not by works. The basis of our “contending for the faith” must always be done upon this foundation, lest we lose our way on one of the off-ramps of pride.
“Now we who are strong [in our convictions and faith] ought to [patiently] put up with the weaknesses of those who are not strong, and not just please ourselves. Let each one of us [make it a practice to] please his neighbor for his good, to build him up spiritually. For even Christ did not please Himself…” Romans 15:1-3 AMP
There’s a clear difference between open heresy from a false teacher/believer and a weak believer struggling with the map, so to speak. Wisdom and humility in the Lord, and love of our neighbor, which means trying to show them Christ rather than merely winning an argument, is always our guide. Always.
In our time, at least in America, Pentecostalism is rampant. That means that many professing Christians have imbibed a half-baked theology that’s very subjective. Couple that with our humanistic education and we have the theological foundation of emotionalism rather than Scriptural fidelity. In all sin and errors there’s the pattern of the Enemy getting us to run to an extreme. The Scripture is both personal and objective. It doesn’t play one against the other because God is one and three! Christ is the personal way and the objective truth! Therefore, a deep study of His word/law leads us to the Person of Christ.
Pentecostalism stresses personal experience very often at the expense of Scripture. An error on the other side, however, is seeing the Word as impersonal doctrine rather than living and breathing. The Word is speaking and that speech is alive and active, brining us to Him who is the ultimate Person.
In many cases we’ll note that the problem is right here. A weak Christian hyper-personalizes their walk with Christ so much that they follow their emotions at the expense of Christ’s Word. And, of course, that emotion is fervent and they swing all over the place in their life and conduct because they aren’t anchored by God’s gift of Scripture. The problem is that, due to faulty theology, they aren’t aware of this. They simply don’t differentiate between ardent emotion and sound doctrine. In fact, in my experience, they very often conflate the two and think their personal emotions literally are the Holy Spirit speaking to them!
The emotional Christian is, by virtue of them being so subjective, often in possession of some rather, shall we call them, “interesting” ideas about life and God. They also have a tendency to be tossed to and fro upon every wind of doctrine (Ephesians 4:14). Of course, Scripture calls us to spiritual maturity and refers to such believers as children in the faith. We do well to remember that we are all the Lord’s possession and not our own and for this reason Scripture says:
“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.” Romans 14:1 ESV
The thing to remember is that even emotional Christians…weak ones…irritating ones…all who name the name of Christ, will be saved. The Lord is the One who saves, not us. To forget this will cause us to judge every little deviation and peccadillo as a mortal sin of others.
So, how exactly are we to engage doctrinal error without falling into quarreling? Well, it’s not easy but here are a few suggestions.
1. Remember love. Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs, nor look for examples of weakness. Instead, it looks earnestly for any and all evidence of good in others. (1 Corinthians 13)
2. Esteem others more highly than yourself! That’s what Christ did, after all, and we’re called to be like Him. I believe that the vast majority of conflict within the church would be eradicated if we all (including your author!) spent time meditating and praying over this verse:
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 AMP
3. Remember that the goal is correction in love and truth so that the other believer may be granted by God the beauty of repentance. I’ve often missed this point in the past and made the whole thing about proving my point when, in fact, it’s not about that. It’s about being a faithful witness to sound doctrine. In order to do this, if things get testy, ask “where is Christ in this contest?” Ask yourself and the other person. Upon this question we must base all things.
4. If a fellow believer is wrong on a doctrinal point, we who are strong in the faith, through the gifts of God, and through the application and study of the Word, should be ready and able to contend “for them” rather than against them. A warring spirit isn’t in harmony with Christ because this is another believer, no matter how messed up and sometimes wacky they can be at times. We aren’t in battle against them, but advocating for them over against bad theology. Bringing others to a fuller knowledge of Scripture and joy in Christ is the most loving thing one can do, after all. Thus, such a labor is a thing of love, not anger or competition.
5. If we’re getting nowhere doctrinally on an interpretive issue, which happens quite a bit with emotional believers who insist that the Spirit is talking to them though they’re weak in knowledge of the Word, ask a question. Ask, “The Lord says that a house divided cannot stand. Can a personal revelation from the Spirit contradict the written Word? Could personal revelation diminish the necessity of it?”
6. “How do we test a personal revelation to make sure it comports with God’s will? Through Scripture, right?” This is the strongest “time-bomb” question because we can leave it there and it keeps ticking away in the mind of the believer. It allows us to correct them, to show them path to truth without being overly confrontational. If they’re truly following the Lord but are merely confused and weak, we must not badger or demean them, so this question, posed with humility and love, will eventually “blow up” their confusion. Maybe not right now…usually not, in fact. Be patient and let the Lord do His holy work.
7. In all, we must remind all, including ourselves, that everything is written for our edification. It’s for this reason that we should be zealously studying the Word and learn to see its harmony and simplicity. Life is difficult; without Scripture, it’s impossible. A Christian can’t live without the Word anymore than a man can without food. Malnourished Christians are all over the place these days because we’re living for a God we don’t know. The Spirit speaks to us through the Word, shining light on it, illuminating it, and prodding us to apply it. This is what we mean by the simplicity of the faith. Those of us who are righteous by faith will live and walk in that faith (Romans 1:17).
8. Lastly, all Christians must be good under authority. Problems at home and work are way too common for the simple reason that we’re lackadaisical about our sanctification in these areas. We emotionalize and, therefore, compartmentalize our faith to the point where we can be the source of conflict in those two critical spheres.
The Scripture teaches unequivocally that God is sovereign. There’s not a single aspect of life over which He isn’t preeminent. In that, He’s created a world of order. Each of us lives in varying degrees of authority structures through which responsibility is delegated. He’s still authoritative at home, at work, on the ball field, at the gym, on vacation. Everywhere.
A reason that conflicts arise is often because grumbling and complaining starts and/or people don’t fulfill their ordained duties in the sphere in which they currently reside. In sin we hate being under authority. Weak Christians can be, unfortunately, the most petty and divisive family members and/or workers of all. This shouldn’t be so!
Do husbands love their wives as Christ loves the church? Do wives submit to their husbands? Do children truly honor and obey their parents? Do parents exasperate their children with a critical spirit? The home is Satan’s first line of attack and nothing destroys the faith of children faster than Christian parents whose betray their calling within the home.
As seen in 1 Timothy 6:1-2, Christians are commanded to be good workers who respect their bosses and show them “all honor.” Why? So that God is honored! A poor worker, a surly one, a disrespectful and sloppy one, is an offense to the Lord and causes His holy name to be literally reviled!
As Christians we must develop the spiritual muscle to resist the temptation of the critical spirit, always moaning and griping, always obsessing about our rights. The Spirit of joy and peace is ours and we should look forward to our labor because it’s an opportunity to serve. How ludicrous is it for people to be a moody, reluctant parent and/or worker who seeks opportunity to serve at church! Ah, no! In 1 Timothy we saw that those who serve in the church have a consistent track record of excellence and reliability at home and work. He is sovereign. So, in all, the best way to avoid quarrels is by being a faithful servant and being more worried about how our own sin impacts others rather than the other way around. Or, we could say, by looking at others the way we hope Jesus looks at us.
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