John 21:20
Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who had been reclining at the table close to him and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?”
John’s gospel is wide open, honest, and unafraid of mentioning specific people at specific times in specific places. Here’s another example. The other disciples would have witnessed this entire episode, so if there was any falsehood, it would be easily known. Watch modern politicians in our day; they rarely speak openly, plainly. They speak in generalities and platitudes so as to always leave themselves wiggle room. It’s like they’re always on trial and don’t want to state their case openly. They speak like this because they have something to hide. The more specific your statement, the easier it is to challenge your facts. That’s why it’s important to see John’s inclusion of such instances and give praise to God. John isn’t hiding anything. He’s unafraid because the Word of God is true.
In this verse, John references the last supper back in chapter 13. We remember that as they were reclining Peter motioned for John to ask Jesus who it was that was going to betray them. And now here, as Jesus talks with Peter, John follows. These men knew each other’s business. This is the type of friends they were. Christian friends don’t live with secrets because secrets are born from shame and there’s no condemnation for us now in Christ.
It’s interesting, in light of what just transpired after breakfast, that John mentions that particular scene too. When they’d last shared a meal, on the eve of the crucifixion, in the shadow of the darkest night in history, when sinners murdered God’s Son, the talk was of betrayal. We know, of course, that it was Judas. But there is also that disastrous performance of Peter too – the bold leader who fell so hard into shame and ignominy. But, alas, Jesus has come and restored Peter. He’s done so openly. He’s done it in front of his peers. Judas, though, never came back. Sin kept him, sin hid him from the One that saves, and, as sin does, it killed him.
After Judas betrayed Jesus and was paid with the silver, he discovered that Jesus was actually condemned (Matthew 27:3). We’re not told what he actually thought would happen. Nevertheless, this led to a change of mind and he returned the money. But the chief priests and elders didn’t want it and, moreover, didn’t care to counsel the man they’d brought so low. Sinners always eat their own; there’s never any redemption, loyalty or honor. People are a means to an end. They said, “What is it to us? See to it yourself,” (Matthew 27:4) after he expressed remorse over his part in the scheme to betray innocent blood. This is one of the most awful and wretched scenes recorded anywhere in Scripture! Judas has betrayed the Son of God, the dear Savior he’d lived with for years. He knew Jesus was sinless. Imagine his state of mind! Imagine his aloneness and despair. So, he goes to the religious authorities under the crushing weight of his guilt. Notice, he doesn’t go to the disciples or even to try and find Jesus. No. He goes to the chief priests and elders who wanted the murder in the first place.
In all the deep theology one can read and learn, sometimes the simplest things can get lost. We should be careful to note this because our own lives hang in the balance. After his denial, Peter repented and wept bitterly. Then, as we see, he went to the people of the Lord. Judas went to the enemies of Jesus. John and the others were there, imperfect as they were, battered and torn, to wait for Jesus with him, so that’s where Peter went. The chief priests and elders mocked Judas and we saw how that ended.
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,”(Psalm 1) and, be sure, the mark of wickedness is one’s attitude toward Jesus Christ. The difference between remorse and repentance is seen in the direction one takes – either to the cross or anywhere else. One either goes to Calvary, to repent and weep at the feet of Jesus, or they trudge off to a potter’s field, which is drenched in the blood of those who would feel sorry for themselves but not sorry for the sin that has no answer except the sacrifice of Christ.
Is it any wonder that Satan was Judas’ friend and counselor at this time? He, the Deceiver, will either tell you to push down those pangs of guilt and shame through a bunch of other vices – maybe greed, alcohol or drugs or sex – to ignore them, or he’ll tell you there’s no hope. He’ll offer self-medication, self-salvation through works, or he’ll walk with you to the gallows of self-sacrifice. The wages of sin is death. To pay for it requires our own lives or that of Christ in our stead. This is the simple message that the Enemy never wants known. Calvary or a potter’s field.
Behind the counsel of the wicked is the whisper of demons and their voices are a chorus of elegant lies, always lies and never the gospel. This is why the way to see if one is walking in real fellowship is simply to ask: when was the last time me, my friends and/or leaders spoke of Jesus Christ and the cross? Where Judas went there was no Jesus Christ. Remorse is self-focused; repentance is God-focused. Self-pity seeks to escape from moral responsibility merely by “feeling terrible about it” rather than face the God who saves sinners. The Enemy always has those two lies at the ready. He says, “there will be no judgement, so have another, and another, it’s your right.” Or he says, “there’s no hope for you.” It’s such an awful tragedy, so terrible to fathom.
This is the great and final difference between Peter and Judas. Judas died alone because sin always endeavors to get you away from Jesus Christ and His followers because sin hates judgement. But God’s answer to sin is grace through faith in Christ because He’s both just and justifier of the one who has faith. This is why John and the others didn’t turn Peter away. They, embraced him in Christ and Christ restored him. Real Christian friendship and living is like this. It’s all Christ directed and we don’t keep records of wrongs amongst each other because Christ doesn’t keep them against us. We are living monuments to the love and grace of God and all sinners should feel comfortable coming to us because we should always be there at the foot of the cross! That’s where everyone should find us. Can we say that? Do we say to a wayward friend, “come sit next to me, brother, for I sit here before the Lord and there’s always a place for you just as there was one for me…come and don’t delay and know the blessedness that is the forgiveness of God like I have experienced,”? Yes, we speak of sin and judgment but unless we do this, we can’t speak of Christ. And if we don’t speak of Christ it’s because we aren’t living day-by-day, moment-by-moment in that brilliant sunshine that is peace with God through faith in Christ.
We are like John and Peter in Christ and not like the chief priests and elders. We aren’t conniving and scheming. We aren’t using each other. We love one another in Christ as Christ has loved us and we want nothing more than to speak to others of this great and life changing love, so we show them the way to the cross, not the potter’s field.
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